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  • Ryan Moore

Self-love in 5 minutes

Updated: May 14

This is not a topic that most people talk about with friends and family, but it is a crucial part of a healthy self-image. It is also tough for most people to tack down. We tend to be far too hard on ourselves, and too many of us strive for perfection. Here are three quick tips for getting in touch with self-love.

#1 - Check-in with your self-talk


Admit it… You talk to yourself.


It may not always be out loud, but everyone has an inner dialogue. The tone and intensity of that dialogue ultimately determines where you are on the spectrum from loving yourself, all the way to hating yourself. Do not confuse self-love with vanity. You do not have to “brag” about yourself publicly and often in order to show yourself some care and attention.


Take a hot second to think of 3 things that you accomplished you are proud of, and pat yourself on the back for it. They do not have to be big things, they can be super small. Recognize that YOU did that thing and that you are not only proud that it happened, but proud of YOURSELF for doing it. This is a really good start for switching the self-talk from negative, to positive.



#2 - Turn off the social media


The web is absolutely flooded with images of people doing amazing things. Most people do not upload videos of themselves washing the dishes or watching paint dry. They post when something is interesting, right? This ends up giving you a constant stream of people being amazing and accomplishing great things. If we begin to expect life to be like that all the time, we will be disappointed. We compare ourselves to the content that we are always viewing, and it is impossible to stack up so we start to feel less-than. If you are on a social media overload, your inner dialogue might look like this:

  • “Why is everyone else so much more interesting than me?”

  • “Why am I so boring?”

  • “Am I the only one who seems to hate my day-to-day?”

  • “Why is everyone else having such a good time”

  • “Meh”

Do yourself a favor and turn off the screen. All of the screens. Of course, it is not practical these days to just throw them all out, but many people will start the day with an hour of screenless-ness. Others will have a time of night that they put their phone down for the evening. Others still, will delete the apps that consume massive amounts of time, but don’t really give them that much enjoyment in return.



#3 - Do 3 things for yourself every single day (Treat-yo-self)


I won’t elaborate on this too much because it is pretty straight forward.

Create a habit for yourself. Every single morning, think of three things that you are going to do for yourself, free of outward expectations of you. Do these three things for yourself as a way of self-appreciation. They do not have to be large things at all. Here are a few examples of some of the ways that I treat myself in any given day:


  • Go for a walk

  • Treat myself at my favorite coffee shop

  • Shave (I actually enjoy shaving)

  • Work out

  • Play guitar


These are all pretty small things, but approach your “treat-yo-self” activities with the intention that this is a small gift to yourself, just for being you. This is a super easy and quick way to show yourself some love and appreciation.



To wrap this up, don’t be too hard on yourself. Self-love is a bit of a process and it can take some time to grow and develop. If you try it out and can’t seem to find it right now, that's ok! Some days just suck but it won’t last forever. Truly... give it a shot, you deserve it.



I am a life coach in the Boulder/Denver area, and offer phone/zoom coaching sessions. I also offer free consultations, so if you want to learn more, click HERE to get in touch.

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